1-1-11

Well, today marks the beginning of a new year. This last year has seemed so very long and involved to me. It feels like 2010 stretched over a three year span and I am now emerging from it gasping for breath.

Not that this year has been traumatizing, not even a 'hard' year. I can think of worse I've had and I can think of other people who's entire lives have been harder than my toughest years.

I don't want it to sound like I am complaining, I am merely reflecting.

2010 was full of laughter, love and growth.
But it was also full to the brim of drama and immaturity. That is what the toughest parts were, all of the emotional distress I had to watch people I love endure, and endure it with them. That is something I feel very acutely. I have been told I don't come off as a very emotional person, and up until now I would have agreed with that.
I feel emotions very strongly, even if they're not my own, I have an overactive empathy gland or something.

I think the difference between me and some other people who are labeled as 'emotional' is that I don't generally act on my emotions. I think that because I am so used to being bombarded by not only my own emotions, but the emotions of the people around me, I have learned to wait until the tidal wave settles to take action. I can usually sort through everything pretty quickly and make a logical decision, but sometimes I have to wait, and sometimes I miss it altogether.

A man I love and respect immensely [Bruce Stefanik] has said before that many of today's people seem to be addicted to emotions "I don't feel happy, so I can't be happy" "I don't feel like I love you right at this moment, so it must be time to quit the relationship" That kind of thing. I think I have the opposite problem.

That was a tangent - my bad.

2010 did hold some good things though, I learned some more qualities that I value in people. I love honesty, and purity and I love people who can look outside of themselves. I love people that DO something when they want a change, as opposed to just talking [whining] about it. I really value hard workers, it is fair to NO ONE if someone is slacking.
I like change, and people who fight for change that will benefit the greater good.
I love justice, and people who are justice oriented really amaze me. That is something that is so close to my heart.

This year has also brought me out of myself even more. I think I have a goal to aim towards now!

Aside from this year, it is really the people in my life that have shown me where I want to go, who I want to be, what I want to become.

-God, first and foremost. He is the reason I have breath, the reason I have true life.

-My parents. They are incredible and never give up on people. I swear they're super human - I can only pray that it's genetic and I will one day be just a shred of how amazing they are.

-Friends, who have shown me qualities that I value, that I want to put into practice.

-There have also been people that have helped me see things that I don't want. Things I don't want to experience, traits I don't want to have, people I don't want to become. They deserve a 'Thank You' as well.

All in all 2010 was a heavily bittersweet kind of year. But I am looking forward to 2011 and all of the knowledge and wisdom I plan on acquiring. I am excited for growth and new friends, I am excited for growth and old friends. I am ready for change, I am ready to wade through stagnant waters.

I have never written New Year's Resolutions, which is a lucky thing for you readers. Because if I did, They'd be added onto the end of this blog, making it even longer =P As it is, I resolve to work hard and to make this the second to last sentence.

Thanks for reading, Happy New Year!