1Corinthians 13:4- 7 "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
[Found here]
I think there's a reason that patient comes first in the list of what love is. Things that we have to wait for gain value over time as we abstain from just grabbing it. Or maybe it's simply out of our reach for a while, and that is what gives it value, that we have to wait for it to come down to where we can grab it. Or actually, we are probably more likely waiting until we've chosen to grow enough to be able to reach it.
Love is patient because patience is loving. Obvious, I know. But somehow my generation seems to miss this.
I know so many people who just are all the sudden in a relationship. Like, BoomIt'sOnFacebookWeLoveEachOther kind of quick. Even if you've been friends for a bit, like you didn't meet on a first date, that doesn't mean you actually know the person.
To me, it just makes immeasurable sense to be good [or best, or close, or whatever term you prefer] friends with the other person for a much longer time that what appears to be the norm these days. Like a year at least.If I'm interested in someone, I want to know them. I want to know that I can trust them, based on their track record, and based on their actions. I want to have actually seen that their personality, that their good qualities, are who they really are. If I can't trust a man as a friend, then I sure can't trust him with my heart.
Logical, right?
I think so.
And I know, I know. There are people who haven't done it that way and have been together for 50+ years. I get it, the way that makes sense to me is not the only way to go. I'm aware. But I've also never heard of a couple who got together super quick that didn't have to really struggle through things for a while. Obviously all couples have struggles, but the pattern seems to be that when it's a more quickly formed romantic relationship, the struggles are much more difficult, and generally more deadly to the relationship.
Why enter into that pain knowingly? If I knew the guy as my friend for some time before hand, it follows that I would be better prepared for how to work within a relationship with him, and he with me.
Again, not saying that other ways are wrong necessarily, but I do think that it generally makes less sense.
I want the man I marry to already be a part of my social circles, to already be loved by my family by the time we're ready to love each other.
Maybe that's a little unrealistic, but I really don't think it's crazy to want something like that. It worked for my parents after all =P
Not to say that you don't like each other, I definitely understand how emotions and attraction work =P
But to wait for each other, until it's healthy to be together, I think that's so beautiful.
We live in a culture that is obsessed with instant gratification, and I love that the heart can be shielded from that. I love that if my heart is really loved, then a man will wait for it to be ready, will wait for God's timing in it. And that I can do the same for him.
This is getting kinda mushy, and I'm actually a little uncomfortable with it. Ha. =P
Anyhow, Love is patient. Boom. <3
This is so, so good Netti! I agree with every part of this. Yes, it works out when folks choose other avenues of pursuit, but I think the way you've described it is God's best way, at least the majority of the time. I love the part about him being part of your social circles and loved by your family by the time you're ready to love each other. That's a beautiful way to state it. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteAw thanks Auntie =)
ReplyDeleteAwesome runs in the genes ;)