Hola, Néih hóu, Bula, Bonjour, Aloha, Konnichi wa, Mogethin, Kia Ora, Hi

-Hola, Néih hóu, Bula, Bonjour, Aloha, Konnichi wa, Mogethin, Kia Ora, Hi-
No matter what your language, cadence, or creed, I'm glad you're here =)

"She's tired of flat lands and cornfields, Seashells traced in snow. She wants more bugs on her windshield, She don't want to go alone...She talks about her waterfall fountain, And her house out on the bay. She's in love with broken glass mountains, Fireplace cafes."

Translation, please!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Surrender, cry, repeat.

Beautiful Exchange: Hillsong 

You were near
Though I was distant
Disillusioned, I was lost and insecure

Still mercy fought
For my attention
You were waiting at the door
Then I let You in

Trading your life
For my offenses
For my redemption, You carried all the blame

Breaking the curse
Of our condition
Perfection took our place

When only love could make a way
You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange

My burden erased
My life forgiven
There is nothing that could take this love away

My only desire
And sole ambition
Is to love You just the same

When only love could make a way
You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange
When only love could break these chains
You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange

Holy are You, God
Holy is Your name
With everything I've got
My heart will sing how I love You

We sing this song in church a lot. Really a lot, to the point where I stopped paying attention to what I was singing and started focusing on finding a new harmony. 

But then on Sunday I was struck with this revelation, if that's the right word for it at all, about the bridge.

"With everything I've got, my heart will sing, "How I love You""

I started thinking about what I have, my mind ran over all the material things in seconds, that's not where my heart is. I started thinking about the people I love and who love me. If God took them, if they died, would my heart still sing "How I love You"? 

What about my fears, my insecurities? I've got those in abundance, even in the face of those things, or even if any of those fears should become reality, would my heart still be praising God?

I always took the "With everything I've got" to mean whatever I had in that moment, my passion, my energy, so I'd do what we do in modern America congregations and sing louder, raise my hands higher.

But I realized what God is asking me, asking all of us, is not necessarily of the here and now. What if later on my friend has to go through some sort of trauma and it is in no way fair and I can't see any possible reason why it had to happen? Will my heart still be loving my God?

I had to lay a lot down on Sunday. [And I cried a lot. Which is strange for me - I'm not anti cry, it just doesn't happen all that often]. It seems like my life is a pattern of continual surrender. I'm never gonna have it all together. And I'm slowly re-realizing [I'm not always the quickest learner. It often takes me several tries =P] that I don't want to have it all together. It kills me. And I prefer life for the time being.

So I guess that's a fair question - What is it that might keep your heart from singing, "How I Love You"?


  1. Amazing. Just amazing.
    I can't even begin telling you how much I am drawing from this right now. A lot of times I miss what God's trying to speak to me, this isn't one of those moments. I love you my friend. So very much.

  2. You are amazing. This I love, I think we listen to it every night and I always get something new from it. I love you girl. Ps it's danna

  3. Danna- haha I got an email from anonymous and was like whaaat? =P it's a good song =) Love you back <3

    Katt- I know right? Hit me square in the heart.
    Love you <3

  4. careful, keep it up and you'll be preaching!

  5. Surrender IS an ongoing proccess... and I have wavered back and forth MY WHOLE LIFE realzing that! Surrender. Submit. Obey. Surrender. Submit. Obey. And everytime we think we've 'got it' God'll make sure there's something ELSE... Surrender. Submit. Obey. I don't have it all together, either... ever... and I'm learning to accept myself as that "broken" person... :) Hey... keep learning and keep writing! You encourage me! :) It's ALL an ongoing proccess!!! Glad to know ya and see ya on this journey called life, too!

  6. Thanks Erin =) You encourage me too! <3

  7. Netti, you make me proud. Thanks for writing words from the father's heart. It was both convicting and encouraging. Good stuff! Thank you for sharing. It really ministered to me. Love you!

    Aunt B

    Had to do anonymous 'cause this is to freakin' hard from my iPhone!

  8. Thanks Auntie =)
    haha I feel like they make bigger versions of iPhones, that have actual keyboards...=P

  9. Hey Netti.. Your uncle Scott here. Great stuff. The more He draws you into the center of His heart the less scary the whole "Isaac on the alter" scenario looks. His plans and His heart are ALWAYS for your highest fulfillment (I know you know this so I'm preaching to the choir) Real faith (trust) is simply the revelation of His EXTREME goodness and the extent of that goodness is something our minds simply cannot comprehend, it must be experienced by encoutering Him and having that revelation deposited into the heart. SO I declare deeper encounters with the "Lover of Your Soul" over you....may you get absolutely lost in the ocean of His Furious Love for You..Amen. PS. Not trying to be your teacher it's just what came to mind when I read you blog....again beautiful stuff!!

  10. Thanks Uncle Scott, that really means a lot =)


"And remember, this is for posterity's sake, so be honest. How do you feel?"