I had a dream last night.
I don't generally remember my dreams, but this one is still perfectly clear in my mind - or at least the parts I remember are =P
They found a cave under the YWAM base in Turner...I know I know - welcome to Netti's Subconscious.
Anyhow, they found this underground cave and it was obvious that it had been used at some point in time as what appeared to be a cafe. There was a display case of little cakes and other goodies like that. My lovely friend Melissa [P.] was there. I made a comment on how those were probably still good 'cause of all the preservatives and Melissa replied with, "They are, I tried one" Only Melissa =P
And in good ol' YWAM fashion, they had put a set of instruments down there (although, now that I'm awake I realize that loud noises inside a cave is probably not a good idea...)
My brother was also with me, and a girl I worked at the Oktoberfest with...I think her name is Carly...And her boyfriend, which was a different boy than she was dating when I met her in September - weird.
We had set up some sort of pins and were bowling, or at least Carly and The Unnamed Manboy were playing, and had my brother resetting the pins. I went to sit with Melissa at the 'cafe'
And then Unnamed Manboy was playing one of the guitars and I told him to stop because we weren't supposed to mess with them, etc etc.
And then Bruce and Rachel Jeffers showed up and were talking about all of the things that probably lived down here [cue bats: no literally, a couple of bats flew out right then]. And it was that comment that stopped me from using the bathroom down there because I was scared that there might be scorpions...in Turner, Oregon...yeeaahhh.
So then I really had to pee and I couldn't leave everyone down there [on a side note, I believe Unnamed Manboy suggested that they use the place for combat training or something like that.] So we all leave and my brother asks, "Is she down there?" and I knew who he meant because you know these things in dreams. He meant our little sister who I wasn't even aware had been down there with us. So then the whole tone of the dream shifted as I began to fear that my little sister was locked down there in the dark all alone with scorpions.
And that's when I woke up [I distinctly remember thinking "Well that's enough, I don't want this to turn into a nightmare."]
After I had woken up a little I started thinking about how I would react to being in a dark cave. I think I would always want to be able to feel that someone was there. The actual physical contact would probably help keep me sane [to those of you who know me, this should be amusing =P]
And then I remembered that I have been in a dark cave. I was on the New Zealand part of my outreach, we were staffing a holiday camp [or VBS] and at the end we went to the Waitomo Glow Worm Caves I did not want to go. My sense of adventure does not generally extend a welcome arm to underground places.
But we went. We all piled on a bus with the kids and rode to our graves, err, lovely outing.
I was beside myself the whole ride, trying to distract myself with the kids, telling myself to breath, just breath. "There won't be a cave in and you won't be crushed under earth and humans and glow worms. It's gonna be fine, breath - while you can..." My pep talks didn't do me much good.
The Caves are a legitimate tourist attraction, it's kind of like going to the zoo. Go inside, look around, no harm no foul. It really is a safe endeavor, I don't think that the parents of those kids would have allowed us to take their children there if it wasn't. But that didn't stop my pulse from racing.
So we go inside and start the tour. We had a guide, although I can't remember anything about them =/ I don't even remember if they were a man or woman. I'm inclined to say woman because the voice I remember is more feminine.
In my defense, I was really having a hard time being under there. And then, as we went deeper and the light disappeared, I had four little kids sobbing into my thighs because they were scared of the dark. That forced me out of myself some, I had to be upbeat and safe for them, I couldn't lose it. I wanted to run outside screaming and rock back and forth with my head in my hands until I couldn't feel my heart pounding anymore. But having the responsibility of those kids allowed me to see something really very incredible.
We keep moving deeper [and surprisingly the air stayed nice. It didn't get suffocating, and it didn't start to smell horrible like I thought it might.] and it keeps getting darker, and slowly, we begin to see stars.
And then I remember that we are underground [cue anxiety] but a few deep breaths and "look up there!" to the kids and I was under control again. Soon the surface of the ceiling is covered in these stars. They were kind of the color of those LED Christmas lights, you know, that kind of blue-white color?
They were beautiful.
The guide told us they were the glow worms. I know she [I've decided it was a woman =P] said that they could be used for something other than staring at, but I don't remember what. I suppose I could google it, but so can you if you really care that much =P
They were so far above our heads [the cave was more like a cavern, it was huge in most parts...I am well aware how silly it is for me to be so freaked out by that kind of thing, but I am set in my ways =P] and still so bright, it was amazing!
So we're walking along and all of the sudden it gets a lot colder. We have been moving downward for some time now and we approach a dock. No one told me anything about this. Apparently we are meant to get inside the little boats and go through a little opening in the cave out to the river that runs alongside the cave site.This did not bode well with me, or many of the children.
There were many tears, many pleas, many 'no thanks, I choose life' s. Oh and the kids were upset too.
We all get in, having to hoist many of the kids inside, and then we were off! This is when I was most happy to have the kids with me. It was by far the darkest part of the journey and scariest, so I was glad for the little barnacles, er, kids, at my sides.
On our way to our little exit, the ceiling was once again covered in the little guys. They moved and pulsed and really were beautiful. I couldn't help but think about God creating these little guys. They are such a neat little animal. They don't rely on light to make them glow. there is some chemical or something in their bodies that a
allows them to shine even without having ever seen light. I think the guide told us that they are the larva of NZ's version of crane flies. I'm not sure what they're called there, but they're kind of similar to what some call 'skeeter eaters' here. Only lighter, more flimsy kind of. Us Americans mostly called them flying spiders because they look like daddy long legs with wings.
We get to where we are supposed to jet through out into fresh air and open skies. I was near the front of the boat, and could see the opening our boat was meant to fit through. I had a moment of panic when I realized that the captain must want us to all lay down so he could squeeze us through. I think I muttered something like "crazy Kiwis", and held my breath.
And then we were turning around. Since it had been raining so much, the river had risen too much for us to get through. So we all went back to the dock and trekked up countless stairs back to daylight.
The kids were much more calm on our return trip, I was too actually.
All in all I am glad I went [ not that I really had a choice, but still]. I think that I would have regretted not taking that chance, and missing out on seeing something really awe inspiring. It just goes to show that sometimes our worst fears are nothing but that, fears. They don't always amount to something horrible and scarring. I am finding that facing them can often be an amazing experience. Actually, I recommend it.
I think that wraps it up for this blog, thank you for reading <3